WEEK ONE – ASSIGNMENT #1

Pick 5-10 people that you know in some way and write a paragraph description of each of them. This could be a physical description as well as an anecdote about them, or even a conversation you had with them. Just think of that person and channelthe first paragraph that comes to your head.

Person #1 – My Mother: My mother is a very funny woman. She’s not what you call a very religious person.She just has a basic strong belief in the power of God. But she’s also ridiculouslyhuman at the same time. My mother suffers from crazy road rage. Several times,she’s been known to be driving along in her car, listening to gospel music and singingabout Jesus. And in the same breath, she’ll curse out another driver and give themthe finger. Not the middle finger, though, she uses her index finger. She has a hard time getting that middle finger up so she just substitutes it with the indexfinger. I’m sure the drivers that she’s directing that to probably think it’s hysterical.Person #2 – My Husband:My husband is my best friend. We met on a blind date December 17th, 1989. My sisterKim and her boyfriend Marc introduced him to me because he was Marc’s best friend.The moment he walked into my house on that cold winter evening, a week before Christmas,I knew that I would marry him. On the way to our date when he stopped the car ata red light, jumped out and did a Michael Jackson moonwalk move, I knew then thatI’d marry him. He’s probably the funniest person I know and a very genuine and sweet man, in addition to being a great dad, too.Person #3 – My Daughter, Taylor:Taylor Bianca Jones is my 7-year-old daughter. What can I say about Taylor Jones?First of all, I am SO ecstatic to have a daughter that I can share all the girlythings with! I also have a 12-year-old son and he’s extremely special to me, too.But Taylor is just the perfect person to be able to share those girly things with.She also has a rather off-beat sense of humor and is pretty sarcastic for such alittle girl (just like her mom). One anecdote that I can share about Tay is this.This past Christmas, her dad and I were discussing a family friend who was goingthrough some really dire financial troubles and we had heard that Christmas was going to be a particularly tough one for our friend’s son, Jamie. Well, Taylor overheard our conversation and she was just utterly confused about the whole affairand couldn’t figure out why we were so worried about the possibility of Jamie notgetting very much for Christmas. Taylor says, “I don’t know why everybody’s so worried about Jamie not getting anything for Christmas. I can tell you how to solvethis problem, Mommy.” Now, you have to understand the personality of Taylor Jonesto really get the humor in all this. She is convinced that she can do ALL things.She’s the most self-confident and positive little kid that I know. If you’re havingtrouble opening a jar, she will tell you to give it to her and let her do it. Nevermind the fact that she’s a little mini person who’s probably not as strong as anadult, she’s convinced that she can do anything that she wants to do. If you havea problem, she will talk to you and try to give you advice as though she totallyunderstands and can relate to you and your problem. She’s an amazing and hystericallittle package! Well, back to Taylor’s advice about how to handle the problem with Jamie. Taylorproceeds to advise my husband and I that all Jamie needs to do is “write Santa Clausa note and give it to him and he will get all the toys that he wants.” She feltthat this was a perfect solution to Jamie’s problem and she couldn’t figure out why we grown adults hadn’t thought of it. Person #4 – My Son, Ronnie:My son, Ronnie, is such a great kid. I remember how insecure and inadequate I wasfeeling at the time that he was born. Prior to giving birth to him, I had had dreamsthat just exemplified the angst that I was going through, being a first-time motherand all. I had dreams about being out with him in his little car seat carrier andI’d be at the supermarket. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea toplace his carrier on the ROOF of the car instead of placing the baby INSIDE the car while I put the groceries in the trunk. Then, I’d get in the car and drive off, with him still on the roof! Of course, I’d drive down the road a little andremember that he was on the roof and I’d look in the rearview mirror to see his little seat on the ground in the middle of the highway. I always woke up in a coldsweat after those dreams!So it was obvious that I was definitely going through the new-mom worries prior to his birth and for some time after that. I had a husband and a mom and tons offamily around to help me, but I still felt VERY inadequate and unprepared. I’m a very intuitive person (more so then than now, unfortunately) and I was very muchin tune with both of my kids’ personalities while I carried them in my tummy. Iknew Ronnie would be a very strong-willed and determined little boy. But I alsoknew that I was also going to be a very strong-willed and determined mother. Addto that the fact that I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. So I was more than a little concerned that we would butt heads and I would eventually “screw this kidup” (for lack of a better term). I remember the first time the nurses brought him to me about an hour after he wasborn. They wheeled him into my hospital room from the nursery and we just lookedat each other. He gave me a look that basically said, “Well, here I am. You can’tgive me back because you’re scared and don’t have a clue. So just figure it outand quit your whining.” Every now and then, he gives me that same look. I callhim my “practice kid.”At the time that I was carrying Ronnie, my mom and I used to visit a tarot card reader about twice a year. So we went to see Joanne and she read my unborn baby’scards for me. And she told me what he’d be like, which was, amazingly, exactly what I had expected and what he turned out to be. And of course she gave me someperspective on how to be stern but loving with him.I’m happy to say that Ronnie just turned 12 years old and he’s the best son a mothercould hope for. He’s smart, athletic, goal-oriented and lovable. He’s also a bitof a smart-ass (like his mom) and every now and then I get to see a little of thestrong-willed and determined kid that I knew he’d be.