50 Things You Need to Know About Me

In the writing class that is still going on, one of our assignments was to write 50 things one would need to know about me. For some reason, I had a really hard time on this one, probably because I don't think I'm that interesting a person. Not anymore anyway. I think my identity is getting swallowed up in motherhood and wife-dom (not too sure that's a word). Anyway, here it is.

1. I am convinced that I can do anything, as long as I really want to.
2. I prefer not to think too long on unpleasant things. Gives them power.
3. I admit that I am a control freak.
4. I didn't used to believe that parents play a large part in why people grow into screwed-up adults. I do now.
5. I don't believe that people HAVE to STAY screwed-up. At some point, you have to take responsibility for yourself.
6. I love my mother, my husband and my children so much sometimes it actually hurts.
7. I sometimes wish I didn't have a family that depended on me, so I could do the things that I truly want to do.
8. When my kids grow up and go away to college, and hopefully, no longer need me, I plan to sell my house and join the Peace Corps. I'm pretty sure my husband will want to go with me.
9. I resent progress and technology. While I do have a cell phone and a laptop and a PC, I resent going any further with technology. I don't want to learn anything else about computers or technology. I find that the older I get the more I yearn to go back to basics, back to the simpler things in life, caring about people and nurturing. The stuff that I wish I could do if I wasn't consumed with career things and working to pay bills.
10. My favorite kids' book is Charlotte's Web. I've always love Charlotte (since I was a kid) because she was really smart and knew a lot of words.
11. I think this year is going to be cathartic for me. I'm turning 40 and am at the point in my life that I really KNOW myself.
12. My favorite shows right now are mostly reality shows. I love getting into people's minds and watching people relate to each other and interact with each other.
13. My other guilty pleasure is historical dramas like the HBO series Rome. I love that the stories are loosely based on real history, and it's such compelling TV. It's like learning history on the sly.
14. My job sucks. I think instead of spending so much time training the employees, they need to spend that money on management training for our bosses. I've never seen such a large group of incompetents. I often wonder how they found each other and how they managed to go through life so long w/o getting any meaningful management training - i.e., how to motivate people, how to talk to people, the basics. It's sad that they should have to be taught this stuff, most management training is common sense anyway.
15. I hate that I am unhappy at my job. It bugs me that I am compelled to feel validated by what I do for a living.
16. I have never been bigger than a size 8. The last few months, I've had an inflamed Eustachian tube for which I've been taking steroids. I've put on a few pounds (about ten) because of them and feel fatter than ever.
17. The older I get, the more jaded I've become. Sad, I used to be an idealist.
18. I am lazy about exercise. I only get into it no longer than a week before I lose interest.
19. I love plain potato chips and cream cheese.
20. I am not a morning person. I prefer not to talk much ini the AM if I don't have to.
21. I enjoy my own company. It would take a lot for me to be lonely.
22. I often wish I had met my husband a few years later. I never had an opportunity to get my own apartment and live alone before we met and married. I went from living with my mom and sister and brother, to living with my husband.
23. I love to wear toe socks and clogs.
24. I would love to sell my house and live out in the country. To me, heaven is laying in a hammock on a sunny, summer day, sipping lemonade and drifting in and out of sleep, while trying to read a good book.
25. My father is the reason why I don't drink much. He was an alcoholic and I believe that's why his Alzheimer's progressed so quickly. I believe that alcoholism is hereditary so I purposely don't drink more than three or four times a year, and always with family, who will make you stop if you're drinking a little too much.
26. I love candles. My house is filled with them. Even with the kids, I have candles everywhere. They create ambience and such a beautiful, peaceful scent.
27. I only have one or two friends. I know a lot of people, but I'm mature enough to realize that they are just people I know, not people who give a crap about me.
28. I've always valued family more than friends. Friends come and go, family's always gonna be there.
29. I think that love is what happens when you're not looking.
30. I used to have a regular tarot card reader, a lady my mom turned me onto. She read the cards of my children when I was still carrying them and told me everything about them that I already knew.
31. I was a really good student in school. Okay, I was a nerd. I was the skinny, shy girl with the jacked-up family life who was super-smart and always made good grades.
32. I am tutoring my son in reading because his grades are a little shaky. He does "just enough" and that's infuriating to me. He's beeon on the honor roll since first grade and that's been rather effortless for him. Now, he has to work harder in the 6th grade, and he is pleased when he brings home a C. Drives me crazy.
33. I am a die-hard 76ers fan. I'm starting to get over the fact that Allen Iverson is no longer a Sixer, but Philly is embracing Andre Igoudala - he's our new AI.
34. When I had my son's tarot cards read (he was still "cooking" at about 6 months), one of the cards drawn was of the Velveteen Rabbit, which is supposed to mean the child will have luck in everything that he does. I always knew that about my son.
35. I think when people purposely raise children in a home without a father, it affects the child in adulthood. I think the presence of a father plays a very important role in the building of a child's self-esteem and emotional well-being.
36. I think my husband is a great father. He makes real manhood look easy, when in actuality it's not.
37. My favorite season is the summertime. I think something in the sun's rays (endorphins, or something) really do a lot for my mood. I probably belong in the Bahamas or some other island.
38. I absolutely hate the wintertime. I hate the heavy clothes, I hate the cold, I hate that it's always so dark so early.
39. I love the spirit of my daughter, Taylor. She's the biggest little 7-year-old I've ever seen. She thinks that she can do anything! I love that about her!
40. I love scary movies, they make me feel alive.
41. I love dogs. I've always loved dogs, since I was a little girl. They can be a little needy, but I love that they have such big personalities.
42. I actually like cats, too. I hate that they have that attitude where they can take you or leave you. Just keep their bowls full.
43. I love it when fat people feel good about themselves, regardless of what other people think about them. I love people with great self-esteem.
44. I miss my mother-in-law. My husband's mother died about 2 years ago. I was as close to her as I am to my own mother. She had a beautiful, warm spirit. I knwo she's happy, though. As long as there's a casino in heaven, she's happy.
45. My mother lives with me. While she sometimes drives me crazy, I wouldn't have it any other way. I've always wanted her to be with me when she's older. That way, I'd know she was okay. She's not really older yet, just 64 years old. She still works a full-time job and has a full life. She has a boyfriend and plenty of church activities. She's got more of a social life than I ever have. I love that she's in my house and my kids get to grow up knowing her like I did. I wanna be just like her when I'm 65.
46. I hate to cook. I can cook just enough to feed my family and the kids - but they know better than to look for anything fancy from my kitchen.
47. I like to write but have such a hard time finding time to write. I find that I also have to be in somewhat of a melancholy mood in order to reflect enough to write something of substance.
48. I am going to learn to roller skate this spring. It's one of my resolutions (as far as exercise goes) and something that I want to be able to do with my family. I tried once about 4 years ago and it didn't go very well. I spent more time on my butt than on the skates. But I promise to try again and learn by summertime.
49. I am probably going to end up becoming some kind of vegan in the next year or so. The older I get, the more conscious I am of what goes in my body and on my body. I got my colon cleansed about a month ago and think that I need to have that done about once every 6 months or so.
50. I am in the proces of trying to get a part-time writing job for a newspaper or maybe even a blog. It's going to be one in many things that I am going to do to change my life in my 40th year on this earth - 2007. Deb PJ

P.S. -

51. I think I may have Adult ADD. I find that the older I get, the less patience I have (or the less willing I am) for wasting my time. If something's not working, I am no longer interested and am compelled to move on. Sounds crazy, but I have learned to accept that this is me.